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By: Rick Burgess

I know from personal experience that it’s not true when people say there are some traumas that marriages do not overcome. But it’s a theory that gets kicked around a lot. My wife Sherri and I have been married for 25 years. We have five children—one daughter and four sons. Our youngest is William Brawner Burgess, who we’ve always called Brawner.

In 2008, I was speaking at a conference in Tennessee to a group of about 7,000 young people. I had been a follower of Christ for twelve years. In our pre-marriage counseling, Sherri and I had repented of our sins and become followers. At the time, I was learning how to take my faith in Christ and implement it into a daily radio show. Everything seemed to be coming together.

That day, between the fourth and fifth sessions, I saw a missed call from Sherri. I called back and she was frantic. Brawner, only two years old, somehow got out of the house, fell into our swimming pool and drowned. At that moment, doctors were trying to revive him, so she asked me to get everyone to pray.

I was a five-hour drive away from home. Even an airplane wouldn’t get me there any quicker than driving, so I just drove. I couldn’t have been more surprised that something like took place. It was unlike anything we had ever experienced. I just had to get to Sherri.

Sherri is a godly woman, a blessing to me. God has used her to make me a better man. She is not a woman who doesn’t know scripture. But in her time of despair, without her husband, watching doctors trying to revive our son, she said words just came out of her mouth, and she heard herself say, “Not my will be done Lord, but your will be done.”

As soon as she said it, the doctor looked at her and said, “We have to stop.” Our child had died, his earthly death. The Psalmist clearly said in Psalms 139 that God knows everything about us. When he weaves us together in our mother’s womb, he knows every day that we will live.

Sherri began to experience the God who is close to the brokenhearted. She said our pastor showed up, family members and friends, all tried to comfort her. But they could not replace having her husband there, the child’s father.

For me, if there was ever a woman that I would have felt would not need her husband at such a time, it would be my wife. I think and wonder about this a lot. What if I had decided not to grow in my faith? What if I had decided not to learn the word of God or be discipled? In that moment when my wife was asking, “Who is God in the middle of this?,” what if I had never taken the time to find those answers? Where would we be now?

Today, we’ve been married for 25 years and our marriage has not just survived, it has thrived. You know why? Because it really isn’t true that the death of a child destroys most marriages. It’s something psychologists came up with, but it isn’t the truth. No great trauma, even the death of an earthly child, destroys a marriage. It only reveals the weakness or the strength of that marriage, and whether or not it’s truly attached to and lives under the authority of Jesus Christ.

Why has our marriage thrived in spite of our devastating loss? Not because Sherri Burgess has some superpower or Rick Burgess has keys to something that isn’t available to you. The reason we’re here today, and thriving, serving and advancing God’s kingdom, and the reason our marriage is stronger than ever is because of Jesus.

John chapter 15 tells us to abide in him so we can produce his fruit, because apart from him, we can do nothing. I encourage you to get your marriage under the authority of Christ, at the foot of the cross. Start with your wife to pursue Jesus. Being the spiritual leader of your home is not an option. Your wife and your family will pay a price if you don’t. If you haven’t devoted yourself to present yourself spotless and blameless and at peace with God, then your marriage might pay a price.

As you pursue Jesus and meet each other at his feet and under his authority, your marriage can withstand any attack, including the earthly death of a child. If you have the answers and you really know God, then your marriage can withstand anything. What is the key to having a marriage that cannot be destroyed? Jesus.

Take the next step to a great marriage by joining me for Promise Keepers’ Men’s Marriage Challenge designed with tons of game-changing marriage content with men in mind. Any man, anywhere, at any time, can join the challenge through the free Promise Keepers app.

For more information, visit promisekeepers.org/marriage/

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Rick Burgess has been the co-host of the “Rick and Bubba Show” since 1994, a nationally syndicated radio show which airs to 1.2 million people weekly. Burgess has coauthored multiple New York Times bestselling books that are autobiographical in nature, but his latest release is a 40-day devotional designed to disciple men. How to Be a Man, the Pursuit of Christ-Centered Masculinity is coauthored by Andy Blanks and was released by Iron Hill Press in 2017. Burgess has appeared on various radio and television shows including Fox and Friends and the Sean Hannity Show as a commentator and guest. He is a frequent speaker at church services and youth and marriage conferences, but his true passion is men’s ministry.
Follow him on Twitter and BurgessMinistries.com.

We recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Ryan Collins, CEO of Bethel Tech. Bethel Tech is designed to provide useful, relevant job skills that provide real career opportunities in tech—while also equipping its students to live out their faith in the workplace. Listen to this insightful and inspiring interview with Ryan Collins and learn how you—or someone you know—can find fresh career opportunities through Bethel Tech.

To find out more, go to betheltech.net.

WATCH NOW

Guest post by Ryan Collins

When I started Bethel School of Technology, I was excited about this new and exciting space I was taking the church into, but that wasn’t everything. I was thinking about all of the good men, husbands, and fathers I know who are doing everything they can to make ends meet, but still struggling.

Yes, Bethel Tech is a school of Technology, but it’s also a vehicle for transformation in people’s lives.

I recently heard from a Bethel Tech alumnus whose life got turned around for the better. When started at Bethel Tech, he was driving Uber to provide for his young family. Fast forward to his graduation and he got a job that paid $60,000 a year, which was a huge increase for the whole family. Fast forward another year, and he just got a new job that pays $130,000 a year.

Not only is he earning more than he ever did before, but he has meaning in his employment and he’s now able to work from home, spending more time with his family. There are thousands of stories like that, just waiting to be told, and that’s what Bethel Tech means to me.

At Bethel Tech, in 9 months of remote, online learning, you’ll be equipped with the most in demand skills on the planet, for a fraction of the cost of a traditional degree. Not only has Newsweek recognized Bethel Tech as one of the Top Online Coding Schools in the US for the last 2 years, but we’re also giving our students  robust spiritual training too. We’re seeing change happen not just on the outside, but on the inside, too.

85% of our students have been getting jobs within 3 months of graduating, and the average starting salary for junior web developers is $66,000 a year. 

The future of work is in tech. From the silicon valley startup exploring artificial intelligence to the mom n pop sandwich shop that’s taking online orders, every company is a tech company. The world is changing at a breakneck pace and my school, Bethel School of Technology, is positioning believers to be at the forefront of all that is happening, so they can bring kingdom values into a sphere that impacts so much of the way we live our lives, while also building better lives for themselves and their families.

Right now, there are 1,000,000 unfulfilled tech jobs in the US alone and companies are falling over themselves to hire top talent.

There’s a place for you in tech, and I want to invite you to be a part of it. Not just for you, but for your family, and for the glory of God.

To find out more, go to betheltech.net.

One of the things we can do to build unity in the body of Christ is to pray together. Will you join me in praying these prayers for unity, knowing that kingdom disciples around our country are praying them as well? Words matter. Prayers have power. Let’s all stand together, speak up through collective prayer, and seek God’s hand of healing in our land.

MONDAY

Lord, help me to model unity just like Jesus did. Help me look beyond my own comfort zone and experience the strength of diversity. Make my voice one that encourages living in the power of unity. In Christ’s name I pray this.

TUESDAY

Lord, make my heart righteous through an intentional pursuit of unity. Use my life as a testimony of unity to others and give me wisdom on how I can contribute to strengthening the community around me, including this nation. In Christ’s name I pray this.

WEDNESDAY

Lord, my purpose is to glorify You and to make Your name known through the love I share with others in your name. Joy and peace come as we seek unity and live in a spirit of oneness. Let me walk in that oneness and experience its fruit. In Christ’s name I pray this.

THURSDAY

Lord, I ask that You help all who are called by Your name to live without divisions among us. Help us to be rooted in Your Word and Your truth. Let falsehood and lies be obvious to all. Give us discernment to know Your truth. In Christ’s name I pray this.

FRIDAY

Lord, I come to you in repentance for the disunity we have allowed among ourselves. I repent of our silence—the times we have not spoken up for unity when we were given the opportunity to do so. Forgive us for walking in division, hatred, spite, arrogance and animosity. In Christ’s name I pray this.

SATURDAY

Lord, You have told us in Scripture that our unity lets others know we are Your followers. May this become manifest in my life and in the lives of my family members, fellow church members and believers all across our nation and around the world. In Christ’s name I pray.

SUNDAY

Lord, may we in the body of Christ be more unified than ever before and lift up the shield of faith to defeat the destructive forces that seek to divide us. Christ’s name I pray.

This 7-Day Prayer Guide is provided by our partner ministry Dr. Tony Evans Urban Alternative. 

by Allan Houston, former NBA All-Star, Founder of FISLL and Promise Keepers 2020 featured speaker

When I think of fatherhood, I think of our ultimate father, our Father in heaven. Years ago, I started retreats and camps named ‘Father Knows Best’. My team wanted to draw the parallels between the relationship of the heavenly Father and the biological father, knowing that a lot of men want to strive to be a good father and a good man. But, we are in need of a positive example and a role model. For those who didn’t have a father, we wanted to let them know that they have a heavenly Father, who is always present and cares for them. And for those who did have a good role model, it was our goal to showcase how they could parent even better with their son or daughter in their own fatherhood.

This relationship between a father and son has really been pressing on my heart and mind. So, I searched for John 5, where Jesus healed the man at the pool and was then criticized as ‘radical’. Jesus said, “I do the work that my Father does”. In John chapter 5, verse 19, he further explains and says, “the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does”. Jesus was in the Father and they were in a perfect, harmonious relationship, where they shared power and authority. But, Jesus was submissive and didn’t seek his own will. Everything he did from healing to raising the dead, he acknowledged his role as the visible image of the invisible God. I always thought this message was so powerful.

My relationship with my own father has helped remind me of the relationship between Jesus and the heavenly Father. My father was the first black coach in Southeastern Conference history. In 1989, he became the head coach of the University of Tennessee. He had had a great coaching career prior; for 13 years he was an assistant coach at the University of Louisville, he went to four Final Fours, and won two national championships as the lead recruiter, so he was a well-respected man. By the time I had to make a decision about where I would play, I wanted to play for my father. There was no other person that I trusted with my life, my career, and my development, more than my father.

I remember as a young boy, my father would always be writing plays, even if we were out to dinner he would find a napkin to write them on. And once I started to play for him in college, running his plays, it came to me that our relationship was an image of the Father-Son relationship in heaven. Why? Because I was able to predict what plays he was going to use because I had seen those plays written by my father before anyone else could see them. Even before the trainers or coaches or my teammates could see them. My job was to take that knowledge, and power that I had, and execute it on the court.

When I think about the relationship between the heavenly Father and Christ, Christ was given full authority and power, the power to save, to redeem, to restore, and to give us an identity. Because Jesus and the Father were one, there was never a doubt in Jesus’ mind what his role was.

The Role of the Father Today

Today, we regularly talk about statistics that plague society in America and around the globe. For example, how the lack of a two-parent home or the lack of a father figure in a young man’s life is so critical. I think one of the first jobs a father should accomplish is to help a young man understand who he is spiritually, who he is in Christ, what his role is, and what his strengths are. It is important to teach how Jesus was completely submissive and obedient, while he walked with integrity. Additionally, a father is responsible to give his son a measure of integrity and a standard for behavior and thought. Ultimately, the goal of these acts is to create an honoring relationship.

Being a father is a passion of mine; I have two sons and five daughters. The biggest legacy we can give our children is to know Jesus. God will take that foundation and shape their lives around it. And as fathers, it is our responsibility to love them unconditionally, be there for them, and not underestimate the power of our presence and words.

Today, I’m encouraged because I really do believe that God is lifting up not only current fathers but also young men who are soon-to-be to be fathers. I feel like this uplifting is necessary because although there is so much division and inflammation, from political and social unrest, every person can agree that it is important for fathers to be present. We can all agree that, together, we need to make fatherhood matter more. I think if we do this, we can really shake up culture and make a difference.

In a world fractured by division and desperate for answers, Promise Keepers is calling on men to STAND STRONG. This is the theme for our 2020 event, and it’s a rally cry for men to rise up as one body in the name of Jesus and begin radically serving our communities, neighborhoods, and homes like no generation has done before. Together, we can redefine the future

Across our nation, moral values are giving way to “anything goes.” Our society is changing — and not for the better. Men have lost sight of their purpose. Marriages and families are crumbling. In response, Promise Keepers is calling men to STAND STRONG. We’re challenging men to fulfill their God-given destinies as husbands, fathers, and changemakers. But we need your help to do it. We’re trusting God to raise $2,700,000 to help:

• Invite thousands of men to join us in Texas for our next national conference.

• Spread the word to pastors and churches across America.

• Lay the groundwork for small groups of men — called “Fire Teams” — in every church
   to bring lasting change to our nation.

As 2020 begins, please renew your support by sending a gift today.

We’re Asking 1,000 People to Give Monthly

We’re praying that God would raise up 1,000 people to give monthly to advance Promise Keepers’ mission. We call these friends our Legacy Partners. Through their monthly gifts, Legacy Partners provide a critical financial foundation for ministry to men.Please consider this opportunity to be part of Promise Keepers’ core ministry team by giving monthly. Simply call 866-776-6473. You will have a profound impact in the lives of many men.

Are you a pastor or lay leader involved in ministry to men? You’re invited to an exciting training to equip and empower your ministry. Join hundreds of Men’s Ministry Leaders from local churches across Texas and the nation at THE 2019 NATIONAL TRAINING ON MINISTRY TO MEN. This unique event is a joint collaboration brought to you by The National Coalition of Ministries to Men and Promise Keepers.

The event will be held at Gateway Church, Dallas Campus, on October 22-23, 2019. In addition to compelling Keynote Speakers, you will also have 24 different workshops to choose from featuring the most important topics for pastors and lay leaders who are investing into men.

More details and registration instructions can be found at http://ncmm.org/nationaltraining/

Contact NCMM at 717.682.4517 or [email protected] with any questions.

An Open Letter to Men from Ken Harrison, Chairman and CEO of Promise Keepers.

Today the men of America are like a sleeping giant. And I believe God is waking us up.

God is bringing pressure on men like never before. Our culture is turning up its nose at our masculinity. We’re called “toxic.” If we’re honest with ourselves, we know we’ve often failed. We’ve failed because we haven’t heeded God’s Word.

Men, it’s time for us to turn things around.

We live in a nation where millions of babies conceived by men lose their lives to abortion each year. Where women march in the streets to protest the men who’ve preyed on them. And where the most vulnerable are trafficked as sex slaves by men and for men.

Men, we can change this! But first, we have to know what the Bible says about our purpose, our role, and our calling.

Sadly, many men in America have never been taught true masculinity. They fritter their lives away on sports, pornography, and video games. They’re workaholics, alcoholics, drug addicts, and pleasure addicts.

Not surprisingly, many of our brothers face isolation, loneliness, and depression.

There’s an epidemic of suicide among men aged 15-24 and among middle-aged men. Too many men are apathetic. Bored. Sick and tired of wasting their lives.

Men, this is not what God made us for.

Our Creator made us in His image. He gave us strength and drive. He filled us with passion and energy. He made us warriors. And He expects us to use these traits for His glory.

I believe every man of us is called to be a servant king. A leader. A man of destiny. So let’s help each other shake off our apathy. Let’s get radical about removing our secret sins. And let’s get real with God.

Men, it’s time for us to show the world what it really means to be a man of integrity.

It’s time to pour out our lives to bless our wives, our children, our churches, and our communities.

It’s time to bring revival to our nation. We — the men of America — can do this if we repent and turn to God.

Are you with me?