In years past, Promise Keepers has taken a stand for racial reconciliation and called men to unite as brothers. As our country now quakes under the pain of racism—unity, brotherhood, and commitment to changemaking are needed more than over.
Pastor Donald Burgs, Jr., member of the board of Promise Keepers said: “In these troubling times, we the Body of Christ must continue to walk with one another, allowing nothing to divert us from our call to Christ nor to break the holy chains of fellowship and unity with each other” (Micah 6:8).
Ken Harrison, CEO of Promise Keepers, said: “Promise #6 of a Promise Keeper is a solemn commitment to reach beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity. We need to demonstrate that power more than ever. Racism is a festering wound that has scarred the otherwise proud history of America. Christians must continue to lead the way in racial reconciliation and healing as we live out God’s call to treat all people as more important than ourselves (Phil 2:3). I call on Promise Keepers everywhere to demand respect, justice, equal protection and equal opportunity under the law for everyone—and that includes police officers as well.”
The following are helpful voices from within the Promise Keepers community speaking on the topic of racial reconciliation. We hope you will listen and be encouraged.
We appreciated the words of Tony Dungy, which we shared this week:
America is in a very sad place today. We have seen a man die senselessly, at the hands of the very people who are supposed to be protecting our citizens. We have seen people protest this death by destroying property and dreams of people in their own community, the very people they are protesting for. We have many people pointing fingers of blame, painting the opposite side with a broad brush. We have anger and bitterness winning out over logic and reason. We have distrust and prejudice winning out over love and respect.
…Today we are a divided country. We’re divided racially, politically, and socio-economically. And Satan is laughing at us because that is exactly what he wants. Dysfunction, mistrust, and hatred help this kingdom flourish.
Well, what is the answer then? I believe it has to start with those of us who claim to be Christians. We have to come to the forefront and demonstrate the qualities of the One we claim to follow, Jesus Christ. We can’t be silent.
The following is an episode of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, a ministry partner of Promise Keepers. This originally appeared as a post on FamilyTalk.
In this episode of FamilyTalk, Dr. James Dobson talks about the passing of his close friend and cousin, Reverend H.B. London. He honors Rev. London through one of their most meaningful conversations about each of their fathers. They discussed the need for dads to prioritize their children, and regularly communicate love to them. Dr. Dobson and Rev. London also talked about the role of forgiveness and reconciliation in broken relationships.
Scott felt God putting two words upon his heart: engage abortion.
“I was sitting in a Starbucks and I was just dealing with the frustration of everything that we see in our culture, the darkness that’s there,” says Scott Hord, senior pastor at Christ Life Community Church in Smyrna, Tennessee. “I began to pray to the Lord, and I gave him my anger that day. I said, ‘Lord, I’ll give you my anger, I’ll give you my frustration … would you give me something in return?’ He put two words upon my heart: engage abortion.”
Scott didn’t know the specifics of how or where abortion was happening in his community. So, he Googled the topic and identified two nearby locations. Then he drove to the first facility, parked his car, and began to pray.
Obedience Brought Transformation
That act of obedience, of listening to God’s calling and then responding, was the beginning of a journey that led Scott to founding a vital ministry called Operation Saving Life. And since that day, his team has been on the front lines of abortion “clinics,” ministering to women and families — and saving babies.
“It can be very dangerous,” Scott says. “We’ve had guns pulled on us. We’ve had people try to run over us, spit on us, tase us, mace us, you name it. But we still go and we go with love. We realize that there’s a lot of shame associated with abortion. We don’t go there to condemn, but we go there in love and in truth hoping that women will respond.”
They are. As of this writing, 180 babies have been rescued through this amazing outreach. But it doesn’t end there. Scott and his team have taken on a comprehensive approach that ministers not only to the needs of the mother and baby, but also to the entire family. “Our commitment to them is to meet all of their needs, their immediate needs and even beyond,” he says.
May Scott’s story inspire you to consider how God can work through you to change the world in this time of crisis.
by Lacey Meyerhoff, Senior Strategic Partnership Specialist, Colorado Christian University
Whether we work in the world of business, non-profit, ministry, government, or at home, God calls us each to “live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way” (Colossians 1:10). So, we must lead well and set a Godly example to others “that they may see our good deeds and glorify our father in Heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
How, then can we lead well and magnify Jesus in our work, in our homes, and our communities? Let us examine the 7 qualities that define a virtuous leader—one who leads like Jesus, striving to live with high ethical and moral standards, seeking to serve others and point them to the cross.
Humility
Jesus modeled humility by coming to earth, taking on human flesh, and fulfilling the will of God by going to the cross for our sins. He was sinless. He was all-knowing and all-powerful. Yet, he did not exert his authority as God’s only begotten son over others.
Similarly, great leaders are intelligent, powerful, and charismatic but they are also humble. They do not let ego or pride hinder their ability to learn from others or admit shortcomings. They do not use position or authority to control or coerce others, but rather they use their influence to inspire and move others to action.
Compassion
Jesus showed the world the caring and compassionate nature of God through his miracles and the way he would see the lonely and forgotten people of the world. He saw Zaccheus and called to him by name, insisting that he would dine with him. He saw the Samaritan woman at the well and invited her into conversation. This would be shocking to many, but it mattered to Jesus that they knew they mattered to him.
Leaders are shepherds that greatly care for their flock. They invest in relationships by demonstrating that they genuinely care about the individuals in their organizations and their well-being. A great leader takes time to ask questions that go beyond work tasks. They show compassion and concern when they notice an employee or co-worker in need and show that they matter to them.
Honest
Followers respect leaders that will share the truth in love and ultimately help them to grow. They hold their teams accountable to do the best work possible. When possible, they provide transparency about the future of the organization.
Purpose
Leaders work for a purpose greater than themselves and create a compelling vision for the future and are driven to achieve the goals set before them. They build team unity around this purpose and energize their team members to achieve more than they thought possible. Their drive and motivation is an inspiration to those under them.
Teacher
Great leaders help others around them to perform better by providing ongoing coaching and development opportunities. They look for opportunities to teach and guide others by giving regular feedback and opportunities for growth. This requires that they observe others and collaborate with them to find ways to improve.
Service-Oriented
People honor those that honor and respect them. Leaders show honor to their team members through regular acts of service. They do not abuse authority and do not consider themselves as greater than their team members. Instead, they are quick to advocate on behalf of the needs of the team and to find ways to serve others.
Prayerful
A faithful leader knows that they are under the authority of Christ and that they are ultimately working for His glory. They lead their team in praying for direction for the organization, for the needs of their team members, and the constituents for whom they work. They are guided by God in pursuing their mission.
Colorado Christian University provides Christ-centered higher education transforming students to impact the world with grace and truth. CCU Online offers more than 90 academic degree options designed for busy adults. Promise Keepers members can save up to 20% on tuition through CCU Online. Learn more.
We cannot become successful followers of Jesus until we understand that we have an enemy who works tirelessly to turn us back to our sinful nature.
Scripture has quite a bit to say about Satan, yet most Christians are ignorant about him. God has written some adamant warnings about our enemy, and we need to heed them carefully. Many Christians are under constant attack by him but have no idea of the battle they’re in. They think their lack of joy, broken relationships, and failures in life originate with them, when in reality their troubles are because they are following the voice of the enemy of their souls but are completely unaware of it.
Satan is a liar and murderer. This part of him comes from his true nature, which, according to the Bible, consists of arrogance, vanity, envy, and selfish ambition. When we act in such a manner, we align ourselves with Satan as enemies of God. This is why the mark of a child of God is humility and absolute surrender to our Lord.
Paul got to the essence of this idea in Philippians 2:3, where he wrote, “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.”
What Does Satan Want?
Satan hates God with all of his being. God is perfect and untouchable…but we aren’t. So Satan goes after God’s children – you and me. He gets us to hurt one another and turn our backs on our Father.
Why do we let this happen? Satan is crafty. He disguises his hatred and pretends to be our Father’s friend at first. Once we let him into our lives, we start to hear subtle whispers that appeal to our egos:
Why did your Father give your sister that gift instead of you?
Look at your brother. He always has to get all the attention. Your brother likes art, and everyone tells him he’s so good at it! I think art is disgusting and offends God, don’t you?
Look at your sister studying science. Everyone knows that your God disagrees with science…You should say something about this to your brothers and sisters. She shouldn’t be allowed to come around.
The lies start to get more specific as Satan becomes entrenched in our lives, because hatred can’t really take root without self-loathing.
You’re so ugly. Look at how your sister looks down on you.
Your brother is smart, and you’re stupid. He thinks he’s better than you.
You’ll feel better if you drink this or snort that.
And finally: Why do you go on living? No one likes you anyway. At least if you were dead, they’d appreciate you. They’d feel bad for how they’d treated you.
The Good News
God has already defeated Satan! Sometimes we get this idea, probably from other religions, of an equal duel between good and evil happening in the heavens. This is not the case. Satan was defeated and cast out! The only duel now is for your heart and mine. Satan can’t touch God, so he attacks His children. And he does this by exploiting our sinful nature. He does it by appealing to the pride in each of us.
With the Fall, sin became our nature and four great separations occurred, according to Genesis 3:
Peoplebecame hostile to one another. Adam blamed Eve.
People became hostile to nature. Nature became cursed and became a source of labor for him.
People became hostile to themselves. Adam felt shame and hid from God.
People became hostile to God. When God asked him what had happened, Adam blamed God, saying, “The woman You gave me did it.”
It’s no surprise, then, that Satan exploits these separations. He seeks to push our flesh in its natural direction, toward hatred of one another, nature, ourselves, and God. As James wrote, “If you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic” (3:14–15). The Spirit of God unifies and makes peace, while Satan divides. When we create unity among others, even at the expense of our own ambition, when we authentically build others up, and when we serve, we display the Spirit of God. When we gossip, slander, act out of jealousy, and create division, we show that we’re following the voice of Satan, acting as enemies of our Savior and Creator.
What does Satan want? He wants to hurt God by separating Him from His children and by separating His children from one another.
How Can We Tell When Satan Is at Work?
Satan can perform miracles and cause people to do so (2 Thessalonians 2:9–10; Revelation 13:13–14). Many Christians have been led astray by false teachers who have performed great signs. How do we tell the difference?
When the Spirit of God is at work, all the glory goes to Jesus. When Satan is at work, the glory goes to people.
The Spirit of God always brings peace. Satan always brings stress and anxiousness.
The Spirit of God always brings unity and equality. Satan seeks to divide and elevate some people over others.
The Spirit of God always brings clarity. Satan brings complication and confusion. “How can we really understand what truth is?” ask his servants. It’s the same lie he told Eve at the beginning. “Did God really say…” (Genesis 3:1). Yes, He did.
When the church is divided, the cause is often false leaders in the church who, out of ignorance, laziness, or greed, complicate the gospel, adding some form of works, tradition, or hierarchy. This allows one group of people to elevate themselves over another, selling out the free gospel of Jesus and controlling others. Jesus is not unaware of their schemes.
Believers who are walking in obedience to God’s Word have nothing to fear because they are protected by Christ. “He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves” (Colossians 1:13). However, when we knowingly commit sin, we open ourselves up to Satan’s deception.
We must exercise patience with those who are not walking with Christ, because their minds are blinded. “Perhaps God will grant them repentance leading them to the knowledge of the truth. Then they may come to their senses and escape the Devil’s trap, having been captured by him to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:25–26).
To those who have the truth, the arguments of unbelievers are senseless, but we mustn’t condemn them or curse them but pray for them. Only prayer and patience will unlock the minds of unbelievers so they can see the truth.
How Do We Fight Him?
As we will see time and again, Scripture calls us to be in a fight. The first call is to fight against Satan.
Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the Devil. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. (Ephesians 6:11–13)
Satan is a liar. His power comes through appealing to our pride and our flesh. If we’re surrendered to God, Satan has no hold on us because our lives will be shielded by the armor of God. We want to know who he is and what his schemes are so that we can recognize when he is deceiving us or others. We too often engage the lie rather than the liar.
Life according to the flesh, which is under perpetual harassment by Satan and his lies, always brings pride, discord, and division. Life according to the Spirit always brings humility, peace, and unity. Satan uses the same tactics he did thousands of years ago because they have always worked. He moves among us, appealing to our pride. These are still his main temptations to God’s people.
Now we see the immense responsibility that God has given to each of us. We must humble ourselves so that we can fight. Once we know what is wrong with us and who our enemy is, we are ready to become the people God has called us to be.
Ken Harrison is CEO and chairman of Promise Keepers. Today, Promise Keepers is calling men back to bold servant leadership as change makers for their families, churches and communities. Harrison is also CEO of WaterStone, a Christian Community Foundation that oversees donations of millions of dollars a month to build God’s kingdom. After starting his career as an LAPD street cop in South Central, he spent nearly two decades in commercial real estate. Married and the father of three, Harrison has a new book, “The Rise of the Servant Kings: What the Bible Says About Being a Man.”
A Promise Keeper is committed to honoring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Holy Spirit.
The world is experiencing the devastating effects of having a lower standard of manhood. The deterioration of societies, both nearby and around the world, has reached an all-time high.
Statistics show that we are on a path of self-destructive behavior. That must change. Yet that change will not occur unless men stand strong in the roles God designed them for.
However, many men feel they are unable to be the men they know they need to be (great husbands, fathers, and leaders in their churches). They try to live vicariously through others. One of the primary ways they do this is through sports. They become fanatics . . . men who will wear another man’s jersey with another man’s name and number on the back of it. Any man who must wear another man’s name on the back of his shirt may need to ask himself how he views his own manhood, his own work, his own honor or integrity.
When the Promise Keepers began their work, they distinguished themselves with a list of Seven Promises that they asked men to adopt. The first promise: A Promise Keeper is committed to honoring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Holy Spirit. This promise sets up the other promises by using the term honor.
When we honor something, we give it prominence in our life. This promise means we must give Jesus Christ the place of honor in our lives. He must reign as our Lord and Master. Our desires, ambitions, and plans must give way to His will for our lives.
The remarkable thing is that when we honor Christ, we also become men of honor – worthy of respect and admiration from those around us.Proverbs 21:21 teaches, “Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity, and honor.”
Today, resolve to be a man who honors Jesus Christ first and foremost in your life. As you do, He will empower you to stand strong and you yourself will become a man worthy of honor.
Since our founding in 1990, Promise Keepers has challenged men to keep seven promises. Learn more.
Humility is clear eyesight. It is the ability to see things as they really are. A successful follower of Christ is humble. He places the needs of those in his care above his own. He doesn’t get his identity from what he has accomplished. He gets it from God.
Our flesh and our old nature see through a lens of self. We perceive things based on how they affect us. Pride distorts how we see the world. It causes our identity to be based on our accomplishments or lack thereof.
The thicker our lens of self — our pride — the less we see things as God sees them, which is how they really are. This is evident in the musings of a crazy person. As G. K. Chesterton described in Orthodoxy, a madman looks at himself as the center of all things. If he were to recognize that no one actually is focused on him, he would be infinitely happier because his world would suddenly become infinitely bigger.
Pride shrinks the universe to a tiny world in which we are the god. As we die to self, we are able to see the world more clearly, as larger and more wonderful than we can comprehend. Pride is a miserable state because we don’t really inflate ourselves or our value. Instead, we shrink the universe to meet our limited imaginations.
Because we are fallen and therefore see things through our pride, we have difficulty judging ourselves properly. The more wicked people are, the higher their opinion of themselves tends to be. In order to properly judge ourselves, we must look at things from outside our own perspective. The way we react to things tells us where we are in our walk with Christ.
The insignificant things of daily life are the things that show us who we are. They show what spirit possesses us. It is our most unguarded moments that show us whether we walk in the Spirit or in the flesh. How do you react when you’re tired, hungry, cold, irritated, or stressed? Here we see what Jesus meant when He said, “Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and whoever is unrighteous in very little is also unrighteous in much” (Luke 16:10).
People often mistake confidence for pride. Actually, the most confident people are usually the humblest, such as the great saints Abraham, David, Joseph, Paul, and Apollos. The Bible calls Moses, who led an entire nation out of slavery, the humblest man on earth (Numbers 12:3).
Let’s look at some aspects of a humble person. Search your heart. Do these characteristics look like you?
■ No longer compares himself with others.
■ Seeks no recognition for self.
■ Sees every person equally as a child of God and honors him or her as such.
■ Enjoys hearing others praised, even if he is forgotten.
■ Forgives.
■ Lives a life marked by patience.
■ Relationships are known for peace and unity.
■ Constantly encourages others.
We see humility as a virtue, but it is really the symptom of something else — the Holy Spirit reigning in a person as self has become less. The holiest is always the humblest.
Pride doesn’t always show up as arrogance. It can appear as self-loathing, shyness, obsession with guilt, or anger. This is because pride always comes from a focus on self.
I once confronted a Christian who was living in sin, and he yelled at me, “Don’t you think I feel bad about it?” I asked him what his feelings had to do with anything. Pride thinks that feeling guilty is some sort of penance. Guilt without repentance disregards those whom your sin has hurt. It is just a continued focus on self, simply flipping from arrogance to self-loathing. It’s all self.
Humility grows as our Lord is revealed to us. As we come to know the Savior and look up into His face, we become more aware of our own depravity. Not in a self-deprecating way, but with the gratitude of a child who realizes that he is completely dependent on God and that God loves him and has promised to never leave or forsake him (Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5).
Ken Harrison is CEO and chairman of Promise Keepers. Today, Promise Keepers is calling men back to bold servant leadership as change makers for their families, churches and communities. Harrison is also CEO of WaterStone, a Christian Community Foundation that oversees donations of millions of dollars a month to build God’s kingdom. After starting his career as an LAPD street cop in South Central, he spent nearly two decades in commercial real estate. Married and the father of three, Harrison has a new book, “The Rise of the Servant Kings: What the Bible Says About Being a Man.”
Given the media’s choice to largely ignore the story, you may have missed the details about a recent court case in Dallas centered on the custody of a seven-year-old boy. The mother of the boy said that he should be identified as a girl, claiming he made that decision himself at the age of three because he liked Disney princesses and so-called “girl toys.” She saught sole custody to “transition” the boy against the father’s wishes, and administer hormone treatments as the child neared puberty. She also wanted a court order to forbid the father from calling his son “son,” speaking his name, or referring to him as a “he.” The father said that the boy still wanted to be a boy while in his custody (in fact, the mother’s own paid “experts” testified that he “does not identify with only one gender”). He also accused the mother of contributing to his son’s perceived confusion by telling him that “monsters only eat boys.”
Thankfully, after a jury recommended 11-1 to confirm the mother as sole custodian, the judge has intervened by ruling that joint custody will be maintained. The judge’s ruling will at least temporarily slow down the likelihood of the boy soon beginning harmful hormone therapies which would have suppressed his natural development. It is, however, easy to imagine a different judge deciding the opposite, perhaps in a state without the governor and other top politicians speaking out against it.
Here’s a not-so-bold prediction: cases like this will come up again, and the judges sometimes will decide differently, in ways that will harm children and set dangerous precedents for others. So, if you “identify” as a Christian and as a mature adult, how should you respond?
For starters, if you have kids yourself, be a parent. It is your job to be the adult. Children will be childish, by definition. They think like children (1 Corinthians 13:11). They are not reliably knowledgeable, reasonable, or wise. They lack life experience, a firm grasp of reality, and the ability to make decisions of ultimate importance. In fact, they are legally not allowed to make any major decisions on their own, and any such agreements they try to enter into are not binding.
You are to teach them and guide them through this early stage of life. You will often, quite literally, save them from themselves. If a kid wants to put on a cape and jump off the roof because they say they are a superhero, you don’t affirm them in that decision no matter how passionately they believe they can fly. You can try to reason with them by explaining the facts of what the consequences might be. But if they don’t listen to reason (and they often won’t), you don’t just throw up your hands and let them experience those consequences. You protect them because you love them. You are the parent and parents are there to protect, not enable.
The progressive “experts” of the day say the loving thing to do is to embrace a child’s self-proclaimed “gender identity” (a new term), and give them drugs to block puberty (and likely make them permanently infertile) so they can later more easily “transition” by surgically removing healthy organs. Considering that 80 to 95 percent of kids with gender dysphoria end up identifying by their true birth/genetic gender after puberty, helping kids prevent puberty in order to change genders seems like an especially twisted form of lifelong abuse.
In addition to being a parent to those in your own family, you need to speak up for what is universally right for all members of the human family, and especially those who have no powerful voice of their own (Proverbs 31:8-9). A key strategy of those who seek to redefine truth or promote progressive postmodern ideologies is to try to bully those who disagree with them into silence. That’s why we have a “cancel culture,” the advancement of the idea that “words are violence,” and countless other efforts to curtail free speech and civil discourse both online and off. A loud and vocal few can sound like a majority when the majority is too afraid to speak up. The resulting “spiral of silence” leaves multitudes afraid to acknowledge the “emperor has no clothes” even in the face of his obvious nakedness.
Speak up now, lest we are soon in a world where courts do say that it’s illegal to call your son a “son,” and judges decide for you how to raise your kids. By speaking with conviction now, you can at least take comfort in knowing it wasn’t your silence that made the abuse possible.
Finally, above all, you should love people in word and deed. Every single one of us has areas where our natural tendency is to stray from God’s design for our lives. All of us have “gone astray”; each of us has areas where we have “turned to our own way” (Isaiah 53:6). None of us is without need of admonishment, encouragement, and help. When we meet someone who is struggling, we meet ourselves, and we should lovingly point them towards the same truth we want them to use for our encouragement. That especially includes the Truth that making choices which go against God’s desires will not bring ultimate joy, peace or fullness of life.
To speak is to love. Love without truth is not loving, and truth spoken without love will not be heard.
The greatest Truth we must continually share is that even when we do make foolish or rebellious choices, God still loves us. “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He made provision for our sin, so that we don’t have to remain a slave to its consequences in this life or the life to come. His love waits for all who seek it. Let’s make sure we daily speak of God’s love and model its effects, so that we may make it known to every human who has lost their God-given identity as a son or daughter made in His image.
Much to my surprise, I have found dropping off (“turning loose” may be a better term) a young man on a university campus to be a much more sobering experience then dropping off a young woman.
The first two times I loaded the Suburban and headed to college towns it was to drop off my oldest daughters, which, as you can imagine, has its own set of concerns. When I dropped off Ally and Kirby, they were ready to meet, enjoy, and integrate into their college campuses with their eyes wide open and their hearts cemented to the idea that whatever college was about, it was more than just themselves.
My girls and I had long ago shared all the necessary conversations about the duties and dangers of being a young woman in a university setting. Though it is never easy to leave any child you have invested in and enjoyed daily for eighteen years in a strange land to care for themselves, I knew it was time and we were all sad, excited, and ready.
Fast-forward a few years and all of a sudden my wife and I were about to make our way to Fayetteville, Arkansas, home of the Razorbacks (the boy had said “no” to the Ivy League option) to drop off our firstborn son. As the day neared, and much to my surprise, I had a growing and much different sense of responsibility in sending off a young man to college then I did a young woman. I knew college meant my son, like my daughters before him, would have a new and greater freedom to live and lead his life as he wanted, AND I knew that there were dads, just like me years earlier, who were dropping off their freshman daughters where they would either be blessed or burdened by the young men around them.
One might think that dropping off a girl and leaving her alone around a bunch of newly unleashed young “men” with unlimited freedom and limited maturity was the more daunting task, but such was not the case for me. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that I found it more sobering to turn loose a potential predator then I did potential prey.
What you have below is a summary of the last hours of conversation this father had with his son as he dropped him off to prayerfully be faithful in “Fayetteville and forever.” I pray daily that these truths would be embedded in his heart for more than just the four years of college, and you can be certain that I am praying now that they will be in some way useful to you as you seek to be faithful yourself and with any men you are charged with shaping. Fayetteville is not the only place that needs faithful men…right where you are does too.
So to my son Cooper (and later Cade and Camp) and to you today, I say…
It’s all about Jesus.
College is not a time to taste the world. It’s a time to increase your appetite for God’s Word.
First, believe that college is not a time to sow your wild oats. It is a time to show your world Whose you are.
Jesus is all about bringing you to the Father, and the Father is all about restoring His glory in you.
God does not deny men pleasure; He makes them great.
College is the beginning of your revealing the greatness of your God, not having what the world calls a “great time.” What the world calls a “great time” does not make great men; God does.
Be wise. Be humble. Be fun. Beware of the lie that those three are mutually exclusive.
You have a powerful enemy who wants you to be foolish, be prideful, and believe that faithfulness to the Father is a fast track to futility. He is a liar.
If you’re dropping off your own son at college (or know that you will be in a few short years), now is the time to teach him these things. And if you are the newly-minted freshman yourself, commit to building your adult life on these life-giving truths.
Ken is the Chairman and CEO of Promise Keepers. These questions are adapted from Ken’s recent appearance on New Life Live, a nationally syndicated Christian counseling call-in program hosted by Steve Arterburn.
Question: My wife and I have been married 32 years but separated for four years. She said she’s not happy and checked out of the marriage. I found out she was having affairs. She doesn’t want to be divorced because I take care of everything, and she likes that. What do I do?
Answer: I’m deeply saddened your wife has chosen to violate your marriage with the sin of adultery. Yet it’s also clear your wife has reached a point she doesn’t respect you. You need to re-establish her respect for you. Go to her and ask her, “What kind of man do you want me to be?” Then see if you can be that man. You will also need to draw boundaries about the kind of behavior you are willing to tolerate from her. In order for you to have a real marriage, she will need to give up her sin. Finally, don’t forget the power of prayer. If we humble ourselves and hit our knees, it’s amazing what God can do to affect other people’s hearts.
Question: When a marriage fails, is it always the man’s fault? My wife is moving out and we’re headed for divorce. I feel like I’ve done everything I can. How is it my fault?
Answer: You, as the husband, are accountable for what goes on in your home, but not everything is your fault. You are the leader and must lay down your life to try to address whatever challenges arise in your home, even if you did not cause them. However, you cannot control other people. If your wife chooses to leave, she is ultimately responsible for her own actions. Jesus, the Love of our souls, still has people reject Him. If you’re struggling under false guilt, let it go. But do continue to pray for your wife and hope for reconciliation.
